Remorse
by Helena Louvel
Summary: RNJR has some important business in Mistral, and Ozpin seems strangely hesitant to tell Oscar what it is.


"We are not taking _him_."

Oscar had known the moment he laid eyes on Jaune Arc that things between them were going to be difficult.

The intuition wasn't his own: rather, it was an immediate, sharp reaction from the old soul residing within him. While he did his best to keep what he was feeling separate from Ozpin, it was getting a little more difficult to differentiate. A line blurred when it came to the Huntsmen, and it was something he couldn't really explain. All he knew was that he felt indescribably warm in their presence; safe, and accepted. That, he could associate only one word with.

Home.

It was weird, for sure. He didn't know these people, even if Ozpin did, and they didn't know him. But they seemed to understand, better than he would ever have thought, how uncomfortable he was with everything going on. How new it all was. Every smile, every attempt to bring him into a conversation, every reassurance that he was doing well had him feeling wonderfully overwhelmed. It was one thing to be kind to a stranger; it was another entirely to welcome said stranger with open arms. They were an odd ensemble, but incredible nonetheless.

Jaune was… different. Not in the way he treated the team's newest addition, but instead in the way Ozpin reacted to him. Oscar felt it - low, like a punch to the gut, whenever he so much as glanced at the blonde swordsman. The warmth was still there, but so was a horrible sorrow, and the unshakable feeling that he had done something awful to the boy; something that could never, ever be absolved.

He had no clue what to do. He had asked Qrow, in a roundabout sort of way, why they were in Mistral in the first place, but that had yielded nothing outside a bemused _"You can't keep it from him, Oz_ ", which only served to confuse him further. It was clear that Ozpin wasn't, in fact, keen on telling him, so he was left to do his best to conceal it where and when he could. Still, it lingered and festered, like an open wound.

Finally, the former Headmaster's irritating stubbornness came to a head. The early afternoon had come around pleasantly; the sun high, beating down merrily on the mountain Kingdom. It was the kind of weather that helped Oscar decide that he didn't mind Mistral as much as he'd thought he would. With a soft breeze blowing from the east, he had been ready to allow Ozpin to take the reins for another round of intensive training. That is, until Jaune's muffled yet distinctly raised voice wafted through his closed door.

"Jaune, you need to calm down," came Nora's pleading tone a heartbeat later. That was enough to worry both souls.

As quietly as he could, Oscar moved to the door and, gloved hand curling around the doorknob, made an attempt to open it discreetly. It was futile. The hinges shrieked. He rolled his eyes with a mortified sigh. _Of course…_ he huffed to himself, and felt more than heard Ozpin's agreement.

The farm boy opened the door fully and turned his attention to the living room. "I-"

He stopped. His gaze had settled on Jaune's expression, and the pure animosity he saw there made him take an unconscious half-step back. Or maybe that was Ozpin's reaction - he wasn't sure. Ruby immediately took the same half-step towards him, fingers twitching as she lifted her hand slightly in a partial gesture of reassurance. Recovering, Oscar planted his feet firmly, and forced himself not to take Jaune's palpable smoldering personally.

"Is everything okay?"

The group shared an uncertain look. At some invisible signal, Ren took Jaune by the arm and gently steered him out the front door. Ruby and Nora did their best to smile, the former nodding.

"Yeah. Fine. We, uh…" she trailed off and glanced over her shoulder. "We're just… going out for a bit. To run an… errand!"

Oscar turned that over in his mind, slowly. Carefully. He decided it would be the smart thing not to argue, despite Ozpin's skepticism and want to do just that. Nora disappeared out the door.

"And… I'm staying here?"

"To watch the house," Ruby said. She cast him a smaller smile as she half-turned to follow her teammates. "We'll be back in a bit, okay? I promise we won't be gone long."

The front latch clicked shut, and Oscar was alone. A chill settled over him, bone-deep and numbing. The house felt too big, too quiet, and while he knew that the street just outside the door was busy and the Kingdom beyond that full of people, it all seemed frighteningly distant. After a moment, and suppressing the shudder that crept up his spine, he retreated to the kitchen. Ozpin kept quiet, even as he set about making himself a cup of coffee; something the man usually protested.

The dread he'd felt earlier had congealed in his stomach, and only seemed to worsen as he pivoted on his heel and settled back against the low counter. He knew Ozpin was already aware of his want for an answer. And that he wasn't going to take 'no' as one.

"Ozpin."

 _"Yes?"_ came the response. Oscar took a sip of his coffee, clutching it tightly in both hands. Its warmth gave him some degree of comfort, and the strength to push onward.

"You already know what I'm gonna ask," he said, "so please, just tell me."

 _"I-…"_ Ozpin hesitated. _"One of my former students lived in Mistral."_

"Oh!" Oscar smiled in spite of himself. Could it have been as simple as that? No… not with how resistant Ozpin was being. Still, it relieved some of the tension in his shoulders. "Who? Ren? Nora?"

Ozpin's recoil was not something he had been expecting, nor was the feeling that he was so utterly _wrong_.

 _"No_ ," he replied. " _She is not someone you have met."_

A flash of color - burning red hair - passed behind his eyelids, so quickly that he wasn't even sure he had seen it. He closed his eyes on instinct, chasing a memory that wasn't his. The whisper of a name brushed his ear.

"Pyrrha," he breathed aloud, and felt the man's wince as his own. "Ozpin… that name…"

 _"Miss Nikos…"_ Ozpin began, then stopped. It was a long moment before he tried again. _"Pyrrha, she-… was one of my many mistakes. Unfortunately, a more recent one."_

"What happened?" he asked. Oscar cast his gaze to the floorboards at Ozpin's rather feeble, but ever-present stubbornness and heaved a heavy sigh. "Ozpin, please."

Ozpin took a minute, seeming to attempt to steady himself before speaking. That alone made Oscar wonder if he even wanted to know. _"Pyrrha Nikos was an extraordinary fighter, and an exemplary student. More than that, however, she was possibly one of the kindest souls to pass through the halls of Beacon Academy. She was Mister Arc's partner. The two of them were on a team with Miss Valkyrie and Mister Ren."_

Oscar glanced at the vacant living room. "But I thought Ruby-"

 _"No, Oscar,"_ Ozpin said. _"Before-… Before Beacon fell, Miss Rose was the leader of a different team. Team RWBY."_ Sorrow and regret compounded briefly two-fold, and made his chest ache. " _Perhaps she'll tell you about them, if you ask."_

"What happened?" Oscar repeated firmly, arms beginning to tremble from the stress in his shoulders. A spike of emotion stabbed hot into his chest, and he drew a sharp breath. Ozpin was… ashamed?

 _"I-I…"_ he stammered. _"I never intended…"_

Oscar made a noise of frustration, clutching his mug tighter. "Never intended for what, Ozpin? Why can't you just-"

 _"I never intended to send her to her death!"_

The ceramic mug exploded, showering white dust and rich brown liquid over the floorboards, and Oscar collapsed. It was the first time he'd heard Ozpin shout, if the man's broken, self-loathing shadow of a wail could be described as such.

Memories played on fast-forward, superimposed over the quiet kitchen space. The beeping pulse of electronic equipment. The overwhelming feeling of desperation and _fear_ and - _"I… I need to hear you say it"_ \- guilt. An amber glow. Screams.

"Take Jaune and get out of here! Find Glynda, Ironwood, Qrow! Bring them here right away. The tower must not fall."

Suddenly, there was a girl next to him. He was - no, _Ozpin_ was - holding out an arm to stop her. Green eyes peered at him from behind a raised bronze shield, her expression lost but completely earnest.

"But I can help."

The kitchen reappeared in a blink, and Oscar gasped for air. It took him a moment to realize Ozpin was speaking again. " _It was my fault. My… idea, my plan. I believed that by her becoming the fall Maiden, Miss Nikos would be the key to preventing all of this. However, my actions have brought about the very thing I wished to avoid. When Beacon fell… Pyrrha did not survive."_

The pain was so real, so _raw_ , it nearly sent the boy to his knees. Ruby's words from a week earlier - _"It's not your fault"_ \- echoed distantly in Oscar's head and, all at once, Ozpin's insistence that is was made sense. Fingers curling over the top of the counter, arms aching as he tried to keep himself upright on shaking legs, Oscar took a deep breath.

"What did you think was going to happen?" he asked, low and accusatory, and Ozpin recoiled again. Oscar closed his eyes and shook his head; he already knew the answer, and it made him all the more heartsick and tired. Jaune was right to be angry, but…

Oscar handed over the reins, willingly. Though, if he were being truly honest, he more so shoved them into the grasp of the other soul than anything. The telltale glow faded, and he watched himself fall. He felt the burn of tears, felt his chest and throat constrict, and felt the former Headmaster deny it with whatever strength of will he had left.

 _"Forgiveness… for that? Not something that's mine to give. But this? It's okay. Don't worry. I won't tell anyone."_

Ozpin pitched forward and, in the emptiness of the house, wept freely.


End file.
